January 19, 2020 Patience in Prayer

For the past two weeks I have said at the beginning of my message that I am not currently in a series, and yet today makes three weeks in a row that I have turned to parables of Jesus.  Hmmm…so I guess we are unofficially in a series about the parables.  As I have also said each week, I love the parables.  I really, really love the parables.  Who doesn’t love a good story?  The parables are not just good stories – they are great stories!  And not only great stories; they are life-changing stories that speak of ultimate meaning, and I find that so very, very attractive.  

      

I once read a rather surprising statistic.  In this country, more people say they pray on a regular basis than believe in God.  About 92 – 95% of people believe in God, and regular prayer is practiced by around 98% of people.  Isn’t that an interesting statistic?  I find it fascinating to see the incredibly powerful compulsion in almost every person to pray.  Prayer is thegreat unifying spiritual practice in our world.  It is a foundation of every spiritual tradition and depending on how we perceive those prayers to be answered – or not answered – a person’s relationship with God can be greatly affected.

      

In Luke chapter 18 we find this very interesting parable about prayer.  Called either the Parable of the Persistent Widow or the Parable of the Unrighteous Judge (I like to refer to it as the Parable of the Persistent Widow), it is a parable in which Jesus speaks to a very important aspect of prayer – remaining faithful in our prayers and being patient with God.  Follow along with me as I read that passage. 

Luke 18:1-8 – 

¹ Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 

² He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 

³ And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

⁴ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 

⁵ yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

⁶ And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 

⁷ And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 

⁸ I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

What happens when it seems God does not respond to our prayers?  What happens when it seems God answers in a way we do not want?  Do we become discouraged and give up on prayer?  Do we give up on God?  Do we think that perhaps God doesn’t care about us or isn’t interested in us?  Ted Turner, the founder of CNN, once said he became disenchanted with God after his sister became ill and died in spite of his fervent prayers asking that she be healed. 

      

Every person, at some point, wonders why a prayer seems to have gone unanswered.  What are we to think when we pour out our hearts to God and the prayer seems answered? What are we to think when we enlist many other people to pray for a matter or for a person and those prayers seems answered?  Why do some prayers seem to be answered in the affirmative while others seem to have no answer?

      

The parable begins with a judge, a judge Jesus describes as someone who does not fear God and is not concerned about people.  In his town was a widow who needed justice. We don’t know her circumstances but for some reason she has been denied justice so she persists in asking this judge to come to her aid.  Though not interested in her or her troubles, the judge eventually relents because the woman finally wears him down and he is afraid of being embarrassed by not doing something to help her.

      

So let’s look closer at this parable to see what it teaches us about prayer and about God.  First, I believe, it teaches us that – 

God is Always Working for Our Benefit.

      

I was riding with a friend of mine one time, and I was in a hurry to get to our destination.  A big hurry. A really, really big hurry.  He told me he knew a way that would save us time and I wouldn’t have to worry about being late.  Now, my friend is one of those who does not tend to get in a hurry, and he is more of a backroad kind of person while I’m more of an interstate kind of person.  I was skeptical, to say the least, that he could get us to our destination on time. He took us down roads I didn’t know existed, and I was certain our journey would take at least twice as long as necessary.  We were so far off the beaten path that I was sure at one point we passed the St. Louis arch. At several points along the way I took several opportunities to tell him what I thought about his choice of routes. I would shift my feet and look time and again at my watch as a reminder to him that we were running far behind schedule.  But, amazingly, we arrived on time and sooner than we would have it we had taken my preferred route.  I didn’t believe him, but he was right.  I couldn’t see any sense to his route while we traveled, but he was right.  I couldn’t see any of that on the journey, but I eventually did.  What’s interesting about this passage is that it gives us no instruction about the content of our prayers and it doesn’t tell us how to pray.  What we get is Jesus encouraging us to continue to pray even when it seems there are no answers.  What Jesus tells is not so much how to pray, but of the nature and character of God.  This is important because any question of prayer is, in essence, a question about the character of God.  Does God care?  Does God have the power to effect change?  Does he? 

      

You see, when we talk about prayer, when we think about prayer, when we pray, there is an underlying, unspoken question lurking in our minds and it is this – will God be faithful to not only hear my prayers but to act upon them?We believe God hears our prayers, but we can’t help but wonder at times – will God answer my prayer?  That is no small question, especially in light of the fact that some people will walk away from their faith and walk away from God because they believe God did not answer their prayer or did not answer in the way they desired.   

      

Just because we do not understand how God is working does not mean that he is not working on our behalf.  Just because we cannot see how God is working, does not mean he is not working on our behalf.  We don’t always know the greater purpose of God, but we can know this – God is always, always, working on our behalf.  Always. 

      

How many of you parents, before you became a parent, decided there were certain things you would not say or do once your children were born?  How many of you, for instance, decided you would never, ever say, because I said so?  It’s easy to be very high-minded and idealistic before we become parents, but in the crush of daily life sometimes we find it easier just to say this is how life is, you’ve got to listen me and just do as I say. Because I said so.  Do our kids always understand why we give them certain answers, such as no, or, you have to trust me?  Of course not.  Does this mean we are not acting in their best interest?  No.  In fact, it might mean we are working very much in their best interest, even if they cannot see it.  In the same way, God is always working for our benefit, even if we cannot see it or cannot believe it (but let’s not carry that analogy too far, because sometimes parents are “worn down” by the repeated requests of our children.  God is not worn down by our repeated requests in prayer, so we should take care not to think we have to “wear God down” through our prayers).

      

God, I believe, is always working for our benefit and does not ever need to be convinced to act in our best interest.  I say that because it is very important that we do not misunderstand this parable.  Jesus is drawing a contrast between this judge and God, not making a comparison. Jesus is not saying it is necessary to wear God down with our repeated requests until he finally relinquishes and gives us what we ask.  Jesus is saying that God already loves us and is already working for our good and he doesn’t have to be convinced by either the number of our prayers, the passion of our prayers, the frequency of our prayers, or by the number of people praying. In Matthew 6:7-8, part of our Call to Worship for today, Jesus tells us not to be as those who suppose that they will be heard for their many words.  Therefore do not be like them; for your father knows what you need, before you ask him.

      

It matters not if you are the only person praying for a matter or if there are a thousand people praying; God is working just as much on your behalf and is already on your side.  Numbers aren’t necessary to convince God to act on your behalf as he is already doing so.  The number of people praying are for our benefit, because there is a divine power that somehow enters into those prayers and provides strength and power to us. When someone tells me they pray for me, I can sense the power that comes from knowing someone cares enough about me to pray for me.  To have many people praying for us and to continue praying ourselves creates an atmosphere of love and concern that is very important.

God’s Timetable is Different From Ours.

      

We live in a world obsessed with time.  We are always saying, if I only had more time; I wish I had more time; there are not enough hours in the day.  The time crunch under which we live makes us very impatient people, and sometimes, when God doesn’t act on our time schedule, we become impatient with God.

      

Part of our difficulty with understanding the ways in which God deals with our prayers, I believe, is that God works on such a different time frame.  We aren’t used to waiting.  We live in a 24/7 culture where you don’t have to wait.  You can go online, place your order, and get it the next day.  We are already, in some instances, at the point of thinking what do you mean wait until tomorrow?  You mean I can’t order it this morning and have it delivered by this afternoon?  But don’t they have drones to do that? I stopped at a place of business in Louisville recently and there was a long line that wasn’t moving very quickly and it was amazing to hear the comment.  Some of them were quite unpleasant, and that was just me!

      

It is very clear, though, that God works on a timetable that is very different from ours.  We schedule everything, putting appointments on our calendars, in our computers, in our phones – and then God goes and works on a timetable that doesn’t seem to take our schedule into consideration.  Can you believe it?  Our obsession with time then messes with our perception of how God appears to deal with our prayers.  Just because God doesn’t work within our time frame and on our schedule does not mean he is ignoring our prayer or that he is not providing an answer to prayer.

      

I never imagined that one day I would quote Garth Brooks in a sermon, but this morning I will.  I don’t listen to country music very often, so I’m not very well versed in that genre.  I first heard the Garth Brooks song Unanswered Prayersat a funeral.  Actually, that’s where I am first exposed to a number of songs, especially Garth Brooks songs.  I’ve heard a lot of his songs at funerals – The Riveris one I’ve heard at a lot of funerals.  I have not, however, ever heard Friends In Low Placesat a funeral (and I am grateful I have not).  Unanswered Prayers has one particular line that I think is really great – some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.  I think there’s actually some pretty good theology in that line.  Actually, that’s some pretty great theology.  There are some prayers from my past – some of them very desperate and emotional – that I wanted answered so badly.  When I look back, however, I am grateful God did not grant what I asked.  Most of us, at some time in life, have offered a lot of tradeoffs in our prayers – God, if you will do this for me, I will do this and this and this for you.  I promise.  Please, please do this for me.  Have you ever offered one of those prayers?  Sure you have; we all have.

      

God exists outside of time, and that is difficult for us. While God does not work within our time frame, however, does not mean he is not working.  God has a schedule that is different from ours, and we must never make the mistake of thinking that because he does not operate on our schedule he is not answering our prayers.  

Prayer is a Reflection of our Faithfulness.

      

This morning’s text begins with this comment by Luke – Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  Why would he tell them such a parable?  Why would they need to be encouraged to not lose heart and to not give up?  Evidently, they had some of the same questions we have about prayer.  This is an lesson from this parable – be faithful in prayer and never give up, even when it seems as though our prayers have little or no effect or receive no answer. 

      

I was listening to a radio program once and a caller said they had given up on God because God did not seem to be answering his prayers.  But what is really fascinating to me about this parable is how Jesus flips the question around.  What we are often asking when we talk about prayer is whether or not God is faithful to us, based on how we perceive he answers our prayers.  But Jesus asks about our faithfulness in verse 8 – when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?What Jesus is saying in this parable is don’t quit! Don’t give up!  Don’t be discouraged!  Don’t believe that God is ignoring you!  Don’t worry that God has abandoned you!  Be faithful!  Trust!

      

Jesus often taught in analogies, especially in his parables.  It is helpful to use analogies – or parables – to help us to understand complicated topics.  This parable, however, is not an analogy, but one that draws a very strong contrast.  The judge in this parable, in contrast to God, did not listen, and Jesus makes that comparison in an interesting way, because the parable mostly describes what God is not.  Most of the time, when we offer a description, we talk about a person’s attributes – they are really nice, they are funny, they care about people, etc. Jesus doesn’t offer a list of attributes about God, but instead makes a comparison between God and the unrighteous judge, and it’s a powerful set-up that he uses. A corrupt judge and a poor widow. Can there be any greater contrast? I get the image of Snidely Whiplash in my mind; does anyone remember that cartoon character?  I think he was on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show (how often do you come to church and hear about the Rocky and Bullwinkle show?). Snidely Whiplash tied Nell Fenwick to the railroad tracks and Dudley Do-Right would come along in time to rescue her.  When I think of this judge, I can’t help but have the image of Snidely Whiplash enter my mind.  In the words of Jesus, this judge was one who neither feared God nor cared what people thought.  Who could not be moved to sympathy for this widow who is ignored by this low-down, corrupt, good-for-nothing, rotten judge?  A judge should be one who will seek justice for the oppressed, a judge should be one who demonstrates compassion for those who struggle, and a judge should not be cold and indifferent to the sufferings of those he is commissioned to serve.  But this judge was not interested in any of those positive attributes. The characteristics demonstrated by the judge are all the things that God is not – the judge is cold, uncaring, indifferent, and lacking in compassion. God, in comparison, is caring, compassionate, sympathetic, and an advocate for justice.  

      

It is interesting, however, that it is prayer that makes God look bad to some people.  It is the perceived inaction on the part of God that causes some people to simply give up on prayer, on faith, and on God.  In this parable, Jesus does not answer this challenge or any of the questions we have about prayer; he simply encourages us not to become weary and not to fall prey to the temptation of giving up on prayer or God. 

      

There are those who would mock the very idea of believing in prayer.  There are those who believe prayer is a fool’s errand. They would have us to believe we are wasting our time and that our prayers fade away into nothingness as quickly as the breath that carries our prayers from our lips.  We must, however, trust that our prayers are an affirmation of the faithfulness of God, and affirmation of our faithfulness to him. Faithfulness is not contingent upon our getting what we want.  Faithfulness is not dependent upon life being always good.  Faithfulness does not require that every prayer be answered in the way we desire. 

      

Let’s acknowledge that life is tough, and there are many times we simply want to give up on many things.  We become overwhelmed with the stresses and the pressures of life and we often wonder how we will manage to get through them.  We open the mailbox and discover a stack of bills to add to a big stack of bills on our desk that demands attention, and we wonder how we will ever get ahead.  We have strained relationships, maybe with parents, or children, or a spouse, and we wonder if the relationship will ever be what it once was.  We go to work, where we’ve been a hardworking and faithful employee, and suddenly learn of the possibility of relocating, or worse yet, downsizing, and we worry about how we will take care of our families. 

      

One of the functions of prayer is that we are given an opportunity to pour out everything on our hearts and minds to God.  It’s like a pressure valve where we can pour out all of our worries and concerns, and in that way is a bit like getting on the counselor’s couch.  Most people, when they are going through struggle, want some answers, but what is also needed is the opportunity to talk and to know that someone is listening.  Have you ever had the experience of a friend talking to you about their problems; they talk and talk and you say very little, but at the end of the conversation they remark, you’ve helped me so much!  And you wonder how you helped them when you said almost nothing, but it is the act of listening that is so important.  Pray away, talk away – God is listening.   

      

If you haven’t received the answers you desire, don’t give up; don’t quit.  If you look and yet fail to find any logic to what God is doing in your life, don’t give up; don’t quit.  If your life is not going the way you had hoped, don’t give up; don’t quit. 

      

A good deal of my theology about prayer was formed – or transformed – just over 29 years ago.  My father had suffered a massive stroke and was in a coma.  His doctors said there was no hope of recovery and that his survival would be only a matter of days or even hours.  I spent a lot of hours at his bedside praying.  I did ask God for some kind of miracle, and nothing would have pleased me more than to see my dad have a miraculous recovery.  But the day soon came when our phone rang early in the morning, and it was my older brother, who simply said, Dad’s gone.  And it was okay.  It was not what I wanted, but it was all right.  Through prayer God had been, I believe, shaping my heart and readying me for that moment.  Prayer has confirmed to me my hope and belief in resurrection, and my prayers now are mostly centered on asking God to help me to be faithful to him, whatever life may bring.

      

Some of you have also sat at the bedsides of loved ones and prayed passionately for a miracle.  Some of you have prayed through great tears for a loved one whose life desperately needs to change.  Some of you have prayed with great emotion for help from God.  God has heard those prayers, of that I am fully convinced, and in some way that may yet be unknown to us, he is working on our behalf. Don’t ever give up believing and hoping.

      

Soren Kierkegaard once said that the function of payer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.  I like that statement, and I believe it is correct, and I hold to that truth, and I will continue to pray.  Always.

January 26, 2020 Mary and Martha: Finding Balance in Life

For the past three weeks we have studied the parables.  This morning, however, I want to go in a bit of a different direction, as we turn to the story of Mary and Martha.

     

I like to consider myself somewhat of a student of human nature.  I enjoy observing people and am fascinated by the differences in people.  God must really enjoy variety, considering the many different personality types and the many varieties of temperaments.  I’m going to pick on a person or two this morning to make my point. How about Mike Coleman?  Mike is back at the sound desk helping with something, which is good, as he is so technically oriented.  Mike is an engineer by training.  When I was young, I thought about becoming an engineer, but my well-documented struggles in math kept me from achieving that career goal.  Several years ago, we had to replace the alarm panel in the foyer.  As we discussed the replacement in an Administration Committee meeting one evening, Mike mentioned that we needed to be sure to reset the security code.  Those panels, evidently, come from the factory with a default code, and Mike told us what that code would be.  I couldn’t help but wonder, who in the world knows the default security code for an alarm panel?  I can tell you who does – Mike Coleman.  We all have our specialties and our interests.  I can tell you, for instance, that Gibson Guitars made only two cherry sunburst Les Paul Standards in 1959.  I can also tell you that one of those two guitars is located in Los Angeles, as it is owned by Slash of the rock band Guns ‘N Roses. The other of those guitars was sold last spring by Gruhn’s Guitars in Nashville of $650,000 to an undisclosed buyer. I might not know anything about alarm panels, but I know a few things about guitars, because that’s an area of interest to me.  Tony Carriss, who was out at Roll Forming for years, probably know everything there was to know about the equipment at that facility.

     

It’s likely that you are different in personality and temperament from your spouse.  Tanya and I are very different in personality and temperament.  Don’t ever get between Tanya and her task; I would prefer for someone to get between me and a task – don’t worry about it.  Tanya is the hardest working person I know; she can squeeze ten hours of work into one hour; I can squeeze one hour of work into ten hours (should I admit that?)  She moves fast and is very intense; I’m fairly laid back and move at a slow and steady pace. 

     

The differences in people are fascinating, and they are fascinating because it is one of the ways in which God brings balance to life.  This morning we are studying a passage about two sisters who were very different in personality and temperament – Mary and Martha – and those differences caused some problems.  

     

Follow along with me as I readLuke 10:38-42 – 

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 

³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 

⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 

⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

This morning I am speaking about Finding Balance in Life.  I will freely and openly admit that I am probably not the person to take advice from when it comes to finding balance.  I did, after all, end up in the ER back in September because of my inability to find balance in life.  So, do as I say, not as I do, okay?  And, I will add, this is not a definitive list of advice about balance overall in life.  I am going to speak about some lessons I find in this passage, and those lessons won’t necessarily cover ever potential situation in life.

     

Here are some lessons I find in this passage, when it comes to Finding Balance in Life– 

We are who we are, and we should neither spiritualize the differences in who we are or overlook their potential for problems.

     

We don’t know a lot about Mary and Martha, as they only make a few appearances in the gospels.  Besides this story, their other primary appearance is in the 11^thchapter of John, which tells the story of the raising of Lazarus.  Lazarus was a brother to Mary and Martha, and as is the reality with siblings, the differences between Mary and Martha really come to light in this passage.  Jesus had been traveling and came to stay in Mary and Martha’s home, with his disciples.  While at their home, Martha was busy with preparations, probably a meal and other matters to offer hospitality for her guests, while Mary just sat and listened to Jesus.  I imagine, reading between the lines a bit, that Martha probably made some effort to express her displeasure with her sister before going to Jesus to complain. There was probably some passive-aggressive comments form Martha – no, that’s okay.  I don’t really need any help.  No, I’ve got this.  Of course I can whip up dinner for thirteen people in a moment’s notice.  No problem at all.  No, don’t get up – just sit there and take it easy while I work my fingers to the bone, as usual!

     

Let me say this at the outset – neither Mary nor Martha are wrong in who they were as people or in personality.  In terms of personality, Mary and Martha were simply who they were. Now, granted, we don’t have a lot of details about Mary and Martha, but we know enough about them to know about their basic personalities.  Mary was more laid-back in nature, less inclined to worry about a schedule, and more prone to taking the backroads than the interstate.  Martha, on the other hand, was a go-getter, she could push when someone needed to push, and she was the person you turned to when something needed to get done.  There were probably no strangers to Martha, and she was the one who would be working from a very organized to-do list.

     

The same is true for us.  We are who we are.  If you are a morning person, you are a morning person.  If you are a night person, you are a night person.  If you are gregarious in personality, you are gregarious in personality.  If you are reserved in personality, you are reserved in personality. Just out of curiosity, how many of you would say you are like Martha in personality?  How many of you would say you are like Mary?  How many of you don’t classify as either, but might be somewhere in the middle?  I will say this – if you are a Martha in personality, you probably feel as though she is unfairly treated in this story.  Wasn’t she simply doing what someone needed to do?  I mean really, here come 13 people traipsing into your house and there are some realities that come along with that much company, isn’t there?

     

Think for a moment about how those differences in personality, perspective, and point of view can play out in a church setting.  There are some people who are gung-ho about everything and they look very suspiciously at those who want to go a bit slower.  Those who prefer careful and measured movements are suspicious about those who like to move fast, and who spend their time trying to slow things down.  We spiritualize a lot of our differences and our preferences and our approaches, but they are simply that – preferences and approaches.  Music and worship style – two areas of church life that have ignited more than their share of struggle – are but different preferences and approaches.  Some people prefer modern praise and worship to hymns.  Some people think the worst thing that ever happened to churches was putting away the hymnals and adding a band.  Some churches think having a screen is an unnecessary and regrettable concession to modern technology.  And on the mornings when it doesn’t work well, I agree!

     

Personality trait are not matters of spiritual life and death. They are what they are – they are personality traits and we should not spiritualize them to the point of seeing one of the other types as being inherently right or wrong.

Learn what is right for the moment in which you are in.

     

Jesus did not say that Martha’s response was, in and of itself, wrong. What Jesus was saying to her, I believe, is there are responses that are either appropriate or inappropriate depending upon the context, or the moment in which you find yourself.  Martha’s response – that Mary was not helping – would not be wrong in every instance.  It just happened to not be the best response in this particular situation. I don’t believe Jesus ever diminished the importance of life’s daily realities – someone has to prepare meals.  Someone has to pay bills.  Someone has to maintain the vehicles.  Someone has to do the laundry.  Someone has to help get homework done, the kids to school, and family members to doctor’s appointments.  Those are important realities of daily life, but sometimes we have to discern what is right for the moment in which we find ourself.

     

Luke says that Martha was distracted. That word has a very particular meaning. To be distractedcan mean, in the most basic way, something that captures our attention momentarily, and in a way that doesn’t really matter – look – squirrel!  If you’re out walking and are distracted in such a way, that’s no big deal.  If, however, you are driving down the interstate at 80 mph, in heavy traffic, and following someone too closely when they hit their brakes, it is a very big deal to be distracted.

     

Martha was distractedat a time when she could – and should –have set aside certain responsibilities for what mattered more in that moment. Maybe she didn’t need to worry about fixing a meal at that moment.  Maybe she could have called in an order for some pizzas.

Devotion and duty are not the same.

     

Have you ever been around a person who prepares for a big occasion, but nobody is happy about it because the person making the preparations makes everyone miserable?  They are not taking care of people as much as they are inflicting their care upon people – I’m doing something nice for you and you better appreciate it!  Because I love you!  So take it and appreciate it!  This is the kind of person who wants to make sure you know they are sacrificing their time to do something and you better appreciate it – I’ve slaved over a hot stove all day and you’re going to sit there and enjoy it and be happy about it because I’m so happy about it!  We all know people like this; sometimes we are that person.

     

There is a difference between duty and devotion. Duty tends to be a cold, more lifeless form of service; devotion is a serving that comes out of love and affection and contains a joy, while duty has very little or no joy.  Martha, I think, was serving out of a sense of duty, while Mary was listening out of a sense of devotion.  Martha wanted to listen also, but she was pulled away by her sense of duty. 

     

Duty carries several dangers.  One is a sense of self-pity.  Have you ever been in a situation where you become frustrated with others because they won’t get serious about a task?  Have you poured yourself into something and others didn’t seem interested so you slip into self-pity?  It goes something like this –Nobody cares like I do about this matter, or this ministry.  I’m giving my time and working hard and no one else seems to care.  Why can’t everyone be as righteous and dedicated as me? I guess I’ll just suffer along by myself and be unhappy about it, and I’ll make sure everyone knows how unhappy and miserable I am – but also how righteous I am – poor, poor, pitiful me.

     

Have you ever felt that way?  Don’t let a sense of duty rob you of the joy that can be a part of life! Devotion serves and works out of a sense of love and joy, and it’s not bound up in a concern about whether or not anyone else is helping.  Mary was caught up in the moment of opportunity to sit and be with Jesus and listen to him, while Martha was missing the opportunity of a lifetime. Have you noticed there seems to be an absence of joy in Martha?  She comes across agitated, frustrated and angry in this passage.  I don’t know if she was always that way, but she sure comes across that way in this passage.  

     

It is very common to see the element of anger in duty. Those who are full of a sense of duty can be overcome by anger, because in their minds, others do not work as hard as they are working.  You know what it is like to work hard, making preparations, and someone is sitting around “doing nothing” rather than helping.  We get angry with them because they aren’t helping and we get angry because we have allowed ourselves to get in such a situation.

     

Martha’s frustration probably led her to make some faces, clear her throat or do other things to signal her displeasure, until finally her frustration boils over and she pours it out onto Jesus.  She even gets to the point of asking Jesus if he cares. Here is a woman with a lot of nerve. This is not the only time that Martha demonstrates such nerve.  It was not an informational question Martha asked, when she asked if Jesus cared. Martha is not really asking Jesus if he cares; she’s pointing her finger at him and accusing him of not being on her side.  Have you ever heard some variation of that complaint?  I guess you just don’t care; I guess nobody cares.  I’m just trying to do what’s right, and nobody cares or appreciates what I’m trying to do.  Have you ever heard that?  Have you ever said that?

     

When our service causes us to criticize others or to feel self-pity we are on very shaky ground.  Notice how Martha links Jesus care for her to doing what she wants. That is a dangerous and tragic mistake to make.  Well, Lord, I didn’t get this in my life; I guess you just don’t care.  As one writer said, do we ever accuse God of not caring for us because we have already decided what his care looks like?

     

Duty will drain our energy, our enthusiasm and our joy while devotion creates a constantly replenished source of joy and excitement and enthusiasm.  The Pharisees were a great example of duty rather than devotion.  They come across as hard and angry, because they were about carrying out a duty, and they were grim and unloving and unhappy about it.  There is a fair measure of grim duty in some churches.  Understand that I’m not saying there shouldn’t be a sense of dedication and faithfulness; what I’m talking about is the difference in the source of that dedication and faithfulness.  Duty will turn it hard and cold; devotion keeps it joyful and loving.

There is a time to work, and there is a time to sit and be still.

     

If you are someone who is more of a sitter, someone who takes a more contemplative approach to life, it’s tempting to use this passage to prove it’s more spiritual to sit around than it is to be working.  Likewise, it’s hard for a person who is active to understand the person who sits and contemplates.  The person who is concerned with quiet meditation is puzzled by people who run around doing all the time.  Some people will read this passage and say well, I agree with Martha; she got a bum rap here.  But this is not a passage about whether it is better to be a listener or a doer, and don’t make the mistake of thinking this passage convicts either those who are the sitters or those who are the doers.  

     

Tanya and I were talking about this passage once, and she said the church needs some of both personality types – we need some of the doers and we need some of the sitters.  And she’s right.  There is a time to work, but there is also a time to sit and be still.  It’s not an either/or; it’s a both/and.  If we were always contemplative a lot of important things would be left unfinished; but if we worked all the time there would be no time for prayer and thoughtfulness that lead us to important insights.

     

There is a sense of superiority in what Martha says to Jesus, and there may have been an air of superiority from Mary, thinking she was being more spiritual.  But think for a moment about what was ahead for Jesus.  He was not looking for a banquet; he wanted some quiet.  Jesus had some difficult days ahead of him and he didn’t need a big banquet with a lot of elaborate preparations.  It was not that Martha was working; Jesus says she is bothered and worried about so many things, and at that moment those were the wrong things about which to be concerned.  Martha’s big mistake was this – she failed to recognize what Jesus needed at that moment.  Under different circumstances her activity may have been what was called for, but not here.  Martha was not thinking about what Jesus needed.  If she wanted to truly minister to Jesus that’s where she should have started, with what he needed.  Instead, she was imposing upon Jesus her idea of what was needed.

     

There is a time to be busy, but there is also a time to be still, and we need to be able to discern the difference.

Why are we so busy?

     

Who would like for their lives to be less busy?  Let me ask you a question – what is keeping that from happening?  Is it really impossible to slow our lives, or are we generating some of our business because we are running from something?  Was Martha busy with her preparations because she wanted to be, or was she avoiding what Jesus might have to say to her?  It is, after all, harder to hit a moving target.  Maybe it was easier for Martha to be busy because it allowed her to avoid a confrontation with Jesus. 

     

I believe there is something in each of us that Jesus wants to confront, because he wants us to be transformed.  Maybe Martha was trying to avoid that confrontation.  Why are we so busy?  Could it be that we are trying to distract ourselves?  We run and run, but we do more running than is truly necessary?  My question is, from what are we running? Why are we obsessed with being busy? Is it to hide from life and what we don’t want to see about our lives?

     

As I said at the beginning of this message, I’m not the best person to offer advice on this topic.  At the end of last September, it was just after the beginning of my message in this service that I suddenly hit a wall and could not continue. I ended up in the emergency room at Baptist East Hospital, where the attending doctor was a member at Beargrass Christian Church.  He diagnosed me with exhaustion and told me I needed to slow down.  I appreciated what he had to say, but as I often find to be the case with medical advice, I found myself asking, and how do I do that? In the days following I did something that I am not very good at, although I often recommend it be done by others.  After talking to some friends, I called a counselor recommended to me and set up an appointment.  I have referred people to counselors many times over the course of my ministry, and I tell people it will be helpful to them, but I generally do not take my own advice when it comes to seeking help.  This time, however, I did, and I met weekly with a counselor through the remainder of the year.  I found it very helpful to meet with someone, and the counselor helped me to understand some things about myself that I needed to understand.  The harder part of the process, however, has been taking that understanding and transferring it into action.  It is one thing to understand the person I am; it is something else entirely to change who I am.  It has taken me 62 years to become the person I am and undoing any of that is not easy. But I do understand that God wants me to bring balance to my life, and I am working on it.

     

It is probably safe for me to assume that you need some balance in your life as well.  Don’t fear it, and don’t hide from it – embrace it!

January 12, 2020 The Prodigal Sons: The Power of Reconciliation

When I am not in a series of messages, I like to return to the parables, and we do so this morning as we turn to one of the most famous of the parables – the Prodigal Sons.  That is not a mistake that I said sons, plural.  Both of the sons were prodigals.  One does not have to leave home to be a prodigal.  You can be a prodigal in your own home.  You can be a prodigal sitting in church.  Follow along with me as I read the story from Luke 15:11-32 – 

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 

12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 

14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 

15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.

16 He longed to fill his stomach with the podsthat the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 

18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 

19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 

20 So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinnedagainst heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 

23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s havea feast and celebrate. 

24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began tocelebrate.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.

26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 

27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 

29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 

32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Before talking about reconciliation, I thought it would be helpful to define the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.  This passage certainly contains forgiveness and reconciliation, so what is the difference?  Forgiveness is incredibly difficult; reconciliation even more so.  With forgiveness, we can offer it and move on, without necessarily having to interact with the other person ever again.  Forgiveness is a powerful act, but reconciliation is a miraculous action, as it proclaims we are willing to do the difficult – almost impossible – work of bringing healing and restoration to a relationship when it would be much, much easier to simply move on.  Forgiveness is also more of an internal act.  As one writer put it, to forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover the prisoner was you. Forgiveness is an act of the will, where we make the decision to let go of a grudge, to let go of a hurt, to set aside the pain of something that someone has done to us.  We can forgive anyone who has hurt us, even someone who is no longer alive.  Forgiveness does not require the participation of anyone but ourselves.  While forgiveness can be solitary, reconciliation requires at least two people.  Reconciliation requires that we deal with another person as we seek to repair a damaged relationship.

     

Time limitations this morning do not, of course, allow me to answer every question that is raised by the issue of reconciliation.  Our study this morning will be a rather basic view of what it means to be reconciled.  

     

First, the sons needed to be reconciled to themselves, as do we.  

     

That may sound a bit strange, but at some point in life we are all in need of self-reconciliation.  Over the years, as I have listened to people talk about their lives, one of the most common themes is the need for reconciliation, and very often it is the need to be reconciled to one’s self – to make peace with something that has happened, what we would describe as making peace with one’s self.  This was the first stage of the younger son’s journey.

     

The younger son would fall into the category of a phrase some of us have heard before – you were raised better than that.  Have you heard that before?  I sure did. It’s a way of reminding us where we come from and of the values we’ve been taught.  This young man, at the beginning of the parable, is not very likeable, is he?  He’s arrogant, indifferent to the feelings of others, rude, self-centered, and self-absorbed. Considering the actions of his father, it’s hard to imagine this young man was raised in the same family.  His father certainly demonstrates some beautiful qualities – love, grace, acceptance, generosity, and many others. Sometimes we say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but in the case of the younger son, the apple fell from the tree, rolled down the hill, went over a cliff, and ended up a long way from the tree and its good roots.  Unfortunately, we can become so separated from the values of the faith taught to us that we are in need of reconciliation with ourselves. This young man had forsaken all the bedrock, foundational principles taught to him by his father, and his life fell apart because he had.

     

Have you ever noticed, as you read this story, that the father never goes after this son?  Isn’t that interesting?  Sometimes, we need to let people hit rock bottom.  That’s really hard, isn’t it?  Have you ever waited and watched for someone to hit rock bottom?  Some of those rock bottoms are very far down, and the hitting of that bottom is incredibly painful.  We have learned from 12-step groups that we cannot help someone until they are ready to receive help, and some people have to fall to a very deep, hard bottom before they are ready to receive help.  It is a very painful process to allow a friend or loved one to hit rock bottom, but sometimes it is the most loving action we can offer.  I imagine this father felt the pain of letting his son hit rock bottom.  Every day, I’m sure, he wondered about this son.  What is he doing?  Is he all right?  Am I going to get a visit one day to tell me he is gone?

Second, the sons needed to be reconciled with others, especially their family, as do we.

     

Take just a cursory glance at our world and what do we see?  The wreckage of human relationships and the damage that comes when people cannot – or will not – be reconciled one to the other. You don’t have to leave home to be a prodigal.  Some of the most fractured relationships are not ones separated by distance; some of them live under the same roof and worship under the same steeple.

     

I wish reconciliation could come easily, but it does not.  Reconciliation is very difficult; we cannot kid ourselves that it is anything but difficult.  But it is not impossible.  Reconciliation can take place when we are willing to reach out our hand to another person and to let go of the bitterness that can destroy us.

     

Most often, reconciliation takes something that moves the heart in a very profound way.  This is one of the lessons of the prodigal son – Jesus says that he came to his senses.  The young man had hit rock bottom, and what a bottom it was.  My family and I raised hogs for a time, when I was young, and I can tell you this – when you arrive at the point where you are envious of what pigs are eating, you are not in a good place.  That was a terrible circumstance for the young man, but it is evidence of two truths – one, that hitting rock bottom will open a person’s heart and mind to reconciliation and two, you can’t ever give up on a person.  The father continued, I’m sure, to look down his driveway every day, hoping and praying for the day his son would return.  He never gave up hope that he and his son would be reconciled.

     

His hope was rewarded the day that his son returned home.  The father was blessed that his son returned home and their relationship was renewed, but it is not always a guarantee that this will happen.  It did not, unfortunately, happen with the older son.  While the father did not go after his younger son, he did go after his older son. Verse 28 tells us the older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.  This poor father; one son returns and the other is lost.  Sometimes, the hurt between people is so deep that a relationship can never again be restored to what it was previously.  But what reconciliation does, even when a relationship is not restored, is to remove the bitterness and anger than can destroy a person.  It is tragic enough when a relationship has been destroyed; it is doubly tragic when the people involved destroy themselves by hanging onto anger, hurt, and bitterness, which is what the older son did.

Third, the sons needed to be reconciled to God, as do we all.

     

The father sees the younger son as more than a rebel, more than a prodigal, and more than a failure – he sees him as a person and, more importantly, as his son.  How often do we allow labels to prevent us from seeing someone for who they truly are? If God has a label for us, it is child.  It is not failure, it is not rebel, and it is not prodigal.  The son in this parable knew he could return home, which is a beautiful testimony to the father.  The young man was very fortunate to return home to a father who would welcome him, not one who would hold a grudge or be bitter towards him.  This reminds us that the father is the hero and is the focus of the parable, not the prodigal.  It is the father who continues to watch for his son until the day he sees him while he was still a long way off(verse 20). The father, undoubtedly, represents God and the importance of reconciliation with him.

     

When we think about reconciliation, one of our questions is what prompts people to seek reconciliation? Why do some people seek reconciliation, while others will never, ever seek it?  In the story of the prodigal, it was, evidently, an empty stomach. After blowing through all of his money, the prodigal finds his friends are gone and he realizes he is in very bad circumstances.  Hunger finally brings him to his senses.  As Frank Schaeffer, in his book Patience With God, writes – the returned Prodigal finds his father’s forgiveness and love heavenly, whereas his stay-at-home “good” brother resents the lavish welcome his father is giving to his wayward, undeserving brother, who has all the wrong and bad ideas and who has [messed] up his life.  The older brother’s focus is on himself and his good standing with his father.  The good son finds his father’s non-judgmental forgiveness of his fallen brother [offensive].  The wayward son didn’t even have good motives for coming home!  He was just hungry!  He wasn’t even repenting in some spiritual way!  He just wanted lunch! (Patience With God, Frank Schaeffer, pp. 222-223).

     

I believe Schaeffer is correct in what he writes – the prodigal came home because he was hungry.  But so what? The hunger brought him home, and that is what really matters.  Coming home, where he knew he would find food, also brought about reconciliation with his father.  Though the prodigal didn’t come home with reconciliation on his mind, it’s what he received – along with a hot meal – and someone, after all, has to be the first to reach out and offer reconciliation.  In this case, it was the father.  It is a beautiful image painted by Jesus in verse 20 – so he got up and went to his father.  But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  It would be easy to say the father, in response to the actions of his son, should have wrapped his arms around the young man’s neck and choked a bit of sense into him.  But he didn’t.  Instead, he was full of compassion, grace, and love.  He wanted to be reconciled with his son.  The older brother, unfortunately, was angry that his father would welcome his brother with open arms and without anger or judgment.  This son allowed himself to become bitter towards, and distant from, his father.  The father was fortunate that one son returned to him, but he found that the other was just as much of a prodigal, even though he never left home.

     

The parable does not tell us whether or not the older son attended the celebration in honor of his brother’s return.  He may well have remained outside of the celebration, allowing his bitterness to keep him from being grateful that his brother had returned and was once again a part of their family.  If he did not attend, it was his loss.  A lack of attendance would certainly be an effort to express his disapproval, but the celebration would not be canceled.  It is sad to think that the older brother could only look upon the joy of others with unhappiness and bitterness, refusing to participate in the joy, but that is what happens when a person cannot accept, or offer, reconciliation. 

     

People need reconciliation with God, also, because they have been hurt by a church.  Here is a sad and unfortunate reality – some people associate God with the church in ways that should never be.  What I mean by that statement is, some people believe that whatever the church does is representative of who God is, which means that when a church does something harmful – such as abuse and then the coverup of that abuse – that action becomes associated with God.  Let me say this – sometimes churches act in ways that are not at all representative of God, and this is certainly true with abuse but it is true in other ways as well. The church is the body of Christ on this earth, but sadly, churches do not always make good representatives of Christ. God is not the church and the church is not God.  While we may be a manifestation of God’s presence in this world, we are sometimes a rather pale imitation of the God we worship.  Churches do not, in all of their actions and attitudes, perfectly represent God.  Sometimes, churches can be poor examples of God’s love and grace, and that faulty representation of God can drive people away from the church.  When people become alienated from a church because of that church’s actions, they may also become alienated from God because they associate what the church says, does, and believes with who God is.  It is a reality that some people will say, as in the case of abuse, the church did that to me, which must mean that God allowed that to happen to me, so I do not want anything further to do with either the church or with God.  How often has bad theology, such as saying that a particular group or a particular person is not as valuable or loved by God caused irreparable harm to the way in which people understand God?  How often has bad theology led to the impulse to pass laws or engage in other actions that make the lives of others difficult because churches have disapproved of people or did not like who they are?  These are sad realities, and they lead to the need for people to be reconciled with God and they call for the church to seek reconciliation with those who have been hurt by its actions and attitudes.

     

We seek, and we offer, reconciliation, because this is the heart of God.  God always offers reconciliation.  Always.  Always.