There is a joke/story/parable about a man who was lost at sea and found himself stranded on a desert island. He was on the island for a number of years, and over the course of those years erected a number of structures. He also kept a signal fire going in the hopes that a ship would see the smoke and come to his rescue. One day, a ship did see the smoke from his signal fire, which brought them to his island where he was rescued after many years of solitude. Before leaving the island, however, he gave his rescuers a tour of his island home, showing them the structures he had erected. Beginning down a path, he showed them what was a quite impressive structure, telling themthis is my most recent house. It took me a while to build, but when I realized I might be here a while I decided to build the best house I could. Going a bit further down the path he showed them structures that he used for storage as well as the very first shelter he built. It wasn’t much, he said, but it provided for me in when I first arrived here and while I built the larger home. Going a bit further down the path, with a great deal of pride he pointed out another structure, which he said was my church. I wanted to continue to care for my spiritual life so it was important to me to have a church. Then turning back up the path toward the beach he said, well, I suppose I’m ready to go now. One of the sailors, however, upon noticing another structure a bit further down the path, said, but I see another structure just down the path? What is it? Hardly looking back, the castaway waved his hand dismissively, kept walking, and said, oh, that’s where I used to go to church. We laugh at that story, but we also understand the truth that it reveals, truth that can be quite painful, as anyone who has been in church for long understand both the pain and the tragedy of church conflict.
This morning we will study a text from the book of Acts that contains one of the first church splits on record; a very painful split between Paul and Barnabas. Follow along with me as I read the text for this morning, from Acts 15:33-41 –
33 After spending some time there, they were sent off by the believers with the blessing of peace to return to those who had sent them.
34 But it seemed good to Silas to remain there.
35 But Paul and Barnabas remained in Antioch, where they and many others taught and preached the word of the Lord
36 Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us go back and visit the believers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.”
37 Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them,
38 but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work.
39 They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus,
40 but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord.
41He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
I need to say upfront that there is no hidden message or agenda in this sermon. Nothing has happened that has spurred me to preach about conflict; it is simply another helpful passage from the book of Acts, and as we all encounter conflict in life, it is important to talk about conflict from time to time. Besides, I learned a long time ago that using subliminal messages in sermons does not work. Years ago, I had something I really felt a member of the congregation needed to hear, so I put that point in a sermon, hoping they would hear it. I was pleased they were at church on the morning I preached the sermon, and I was very pleased when, as I greeted the congregation after the service, the person said to me, I am really glad I was here today, and I was really glad to hear that message. I especially appreciated it when you said…and then quoted back to me what I had included in my message specifically for them. I was so pleased they had heard it! I was disappointed, however, when they continued…I am so glad you said that this morning, because (so and so) was here today and they really needed to hear that!
Conflict is an unavoidable fact of life, and some of the simplest matters in life can escalate to a level of all-out battle. It might seem like something very simple, such as where to stop and eat lunch on a vacation trip, but all of a sudden, tempers flare, words are spoken, and feelings are deeply hurt. I believe this happens because the issues we deal with are often only surface issues. When conflict comes, whatever the trigger is for that conflict, there is almost always a deeper, unspoken issue that drives both the conversation and the conflict.
This morning, the Scripture text reveals a disagreement between Paul and Barnabas that was so sharp that they parted ways with one another. The story begins innocently enough, as Paul says to Barnabas, let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing(verse 36). It was a good idea, to go back and visit the churches where they had previously worked, spending time with their friends in those locations, and offering encouragement as they traveled. And besides, who doesn’t like a good road trip?
But as often happens in life, a simple plan turned out to be not so simple. In fact, the simple plan turned out to be quite full of complications, because it touched on a much deeper issue. Barnabas suggested they take Mark along with them, which seemed not only innocent enough, but a rather good idea. Why not have another person along? Who doesn’t like good company? The more the merrier, right? And why not have another person along to share the workload? Certainly, Barnabas believed it to be a good idea, but Paul rejected it because, as Luke says in verse 38, he (Paul) did not think it wise to take him (Mark), because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Luke does not provide the details as to why Mark left Pamphylia, but obviously Paul was very unhappy that he did.
All disagreements bring about a measure of pain, but this must have been especially painful for Paul, as it was Barnabas who vouched for him when many were still suspicious about Paul. Acts 9:26-27 says when he (Paul) came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he was really a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken with him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. Those are strong words on the part of Barnabas, and what a great act of encouragement it was for him to stand before the church and vouch for the man who had been a persecutor of the church. Imagine how that episode must have cemented the friendship between Paul and Barnabas. But then it unravels.
We learn many lessons from this passage, among them –
1. Do not be surprised or disappointed when conflict erupts between or among God’s people.
One of the reasons why church conflict is so difficult is that we have higher expectations of the kinds of behaviors and attitudes that should be present in the church. And, hopefully, those behaviors and attitudes are better because of our faith, but it does not mean that conflict will be absent, because conflict is inevitable and, at times, even necessary and helpful.
In fact, when you read through the pages of the New Testament, through the letters of Paul in particular, you find a lot of conflict. Much of the New Testament, actually, exists because of conflict. Many of the letters of Paul were written in response to conflict in churches with which Paul had worked. I and II Corinthians were written to a church running over with conflict and struggle. In I Corinthians 11:18 Paul writes, in the first place, I hear that when you come together as a church, there are division among you. That was putting it mildly, as the church in Corinth was full of divisiveness and conflict. And it’s not always congregations Paul mentions; sometimes, Paul names specific individuals. In Philippians 4:2-3 he writes, I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntycheto be of the same mind in the Lord, and goes on to ask others to help them get along. How would you like to be one of those argumentative individuals who got mentioned in the Bible, where history remembers you as a troublemaker?
One thing about conflict, however, is that, handled well, it can be healthy, especially because it can “clear the air.” Conflict can bring about conversations that need to take place, but are generally avoided, until something comes along and triggers the conflict that finally allows those issues to come to the surface. Sometimes, however, we run from conflict, because we don’t know how to have those conversations, and we are afraid of those conversations. Perhaps we believe that if we are honest and open, we will be rejected. It is hard in church to have those conversations, isn’t it? That’s why people sometimes leave one church for another. There are, admittedly, many reasons why people leave a church, and there are legitimate reasons to do so. (There are, admittedly, many reasons why people leave a church, and there are legitimate reasons to do so. Sometimes a situation becomes toxic and it is time to part company. It does no one any good to continue in a situation where they are beaten down, harassed, and abused, and I would never recommend that anyone stay in such a situation, but that is the exception and not the norm.) There are, we all know, a lot of landmines involved in conflict, and those landmines make it incredibly difficult to know what to do and how to manage the hurt that comes with the conflict, so we find it simpler to move on. It’s not easy, but we find it simpler, and then we carry around the hurt for a long time. Conflict well managed, however, brings issues to the surface that have remained buried but need to be brought into the light of the day so there can be healing and restoration. That is why Paul was not at all hesitant to dive into the conflicts that often arose.
2. People deserve a second chance. And a third chance. And a fourth chance, and more.
We do not know why Mark left Paul and Barnabas when they were in Pamphylia, but his departure left a bitterness in Paul that caused him to not want Mark around. Regardless of the reasons for Mark leaving, Paul should have given him another chance. Of all people, Paul should have understood the importance of a second chance. Paul was present at the stoning of Stephen. Paul traveled to Damascus in hopes of arresting followers of Jesus, and to then take them back to Jerusalem. Paul was a persecutor of the church and saw followers of Jesus as the enemy and worthy of arrest and punishment, but God powerfully intervened and gave Paul a new beginning and another chance. Paul had been given a very big second chance by God, so why shouldn’t Paul do the same for Mark? It is not easy to give people a second – or a third, or a fourth – chance though, is it? Perhaps we were hurt or disappointed and we don’t want to leave ourselves again in a position of vulnerability. We are, however, sometimes on the other side of that situation, as there are times when we are the ones who need to be granted a second chance. Wouldn’t we want that second chance to be granted to us? I would say there is not a person here who has not only needed a second chance at some point in life, but has also received a second chance, so shouldn’t we then offer a second chance to one who needs it?
It’s interesting that verse 39 tells us that Paul and Barnabas had thissharp disagreement. Remember, Barnabas was a nickname (his real name was Joseph; see Acts 4:36-37), meaning son of encouragement. How does a son of encouragementget to such a point that his close friendship is broken? Perhaps he was attempting to be an encouragement to Mark, or maybe he was being disagreeable with Paul, but it reminds us that everyone – even a son of encouragement– can at times get it wrong.
God is a God of second chances. And third chances. And fourth chances. What did Jesus say on the cross? Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing(Luke 23:34). What did Jesus tell Peter when Peter asked if seven times was a sufficient number of times to forgive someone? I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times(Matthew 18:22). And what did Jesus say about forgiveness in the Sermon On the Mount about forgiveness and second chances? For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins(Matthew 6:14-15).
I would say that Paul and Barnabas were both wrong, and right, to some extent. Paul’s objections had some merit. What if Mark did bail out on them again? But Barnabas was right as well. Shouldn’t Mark be given another chance? Of course he should have.
3. It’s never too late to set things right.
I believe that one of the dynamics at work here was the basic personality differences in Paul and Barnabas. The portrait we receive of Paul in the New Testament is of a headstrong, hard-charging, overachieving, task-oriented, get it done personality. Barnabas, as an encourager, was most likely a laid back, easy going, mellow personality. Those two kinds of personalities can create a dynamic that have the possibility to bring about conflict, but they are also the kind of contrast that creates a very good working relationship. After all, opposites really do attract and do well together. How many of you are very different in personality from your spouse? Tanya and I are certainly very different personalities. She has the most laser-like focus of anyone I have ever known. Do not get in between her and her task, as she will run you over. It won’t be her intent, of course, to run you over; it’s just that she only sees her task. For me, however, I see everything but the task. When I sit down to work on something I am easily distracted. Oh look, a squirrel. Look, a bird. Did I hear someone at the door? I better go and check. Personality differences are what they are – personality differences. Those differences, which can work well together and help to balance our strengths and weaknesses, can also become a source of great conflict, and this might have been a contributing factor to the conflict between Paul and Barnabas.
I wonder how, or if, Paul and Barnabas eventually worked things out between them. I wonder if their friendship was restored or permanently damaged from this conflict. I wonder what they thought as they looked back on this conflict from a perspective of later in life. I wonder what Paul thought about it when he was in prison in Rome, facing the end of his life. I wonder if he thought I wish Barnabas and I had reconciled. Now it’s too late. I hope he was able to think, I am so relieved that Barnabas and I reconciled, before it was too late. I hope Barnabas did not have to live with regret about failing to reconcile with Paul. I hope he was able to live with the knowledge that their relationship had been restored.
Conflict is tough, but it’s never too late to make things right. A number of years ago I read the book The Shack. If you have read that book, you know it is a very interesting book, and one of the reasons it is interesting is that it deals with putting life back together after a great tragedy and the restoration that must come with it. There is a line in that book that is a great line, and as I don’t have the time to set up the scene from which it comes, so I’ll simply quote the line – judgment is not about destruction, but about setting things right(The Shack, Wm. Paul Young, Newbury Park, California: Windblown Media, 1997, page 171). That’s a great line, that it is about setting things right.
I have seen a lot of people at the end of their lives, and many of them had relationships that needed to be restored. I have seen some reach out in their final days, or even in their final hours, to heal a broken or damaged relationship, and I can tell you that it is so much better for everyone involved when someone departs this life for eternity with restored relationships. I have also seen people leave this earth without taking the opportunity to heal broken and damaged relationships, sometimes flatly refusing to do so, and that is very hard for everyone involved, because when a person leaves this life there is no opportunity for reconciliation. I have seen some beautiful moments of reconciliation, times of setting things right, and I have seen bitterness that was never resolved. Reconciliation and healing are so much better. It’s never, ever too late to set things right.
Let us be people of the second, and third, and fourth chance. Let us be people who reach out the hand of reconciliation and restoration. I promise – I guarantee – it is always worth the effort.
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